The Northern 📍

  Quiet Desperation      Holding on to each and every breath, waiting for a moment. Praying for a day, that never truly comes.      The lives of the men who came before me, constantly living in a world of despair. From daily interactions, to the simply milestones of life- an act so simple, yet dark in nature. The very thought of a moment, where a breakthrough finally occurs. And yet- it never happens.      Praying for a miracle leads most men desperate. They live their lives, believing that their faith will be rewarded. Stumbling, day after day, hoping that our Creator will bless them with abundance, as the tides of fortune finally turn their direction. So long they pray, until finally- their days become no more.      A never-ending cycle of desperation. Where belief has scarred over into complacency. A pipe dream of a world in which they live in, slowly fades into he shadows forever again.      How many of ...

  Time Keeps On Tickin’.      The Weather continues to move forward. A gentle reminder that the cycles of the seasons keep on rolling, regardless of the outside noise surrounding us. That nature remains in control, as it drives towards the repetition cycle, slowly dominating all those who attempt to stand in their way.      Summer is over. At least, thats how it feels. The scorching heat no longer shows its face, around these parts of the world.        The sun is a sovereign reminder, that life continues to push forward. That the sands of time do not wait for nobody. That change, like the seasons, is inevitable. We must come to grips with the fact that what we see here today, can be gone tomorrow- just like that.        Humanity has this great need to control all which it sees. The desire to have its ego in charge, running the world and pulling the strings around it. To be the magic man behind the curtain, dictat...

  Stuck.      Again and again, the cycle continues. Days turn into weeks, weeks into years. Over and over again, I find myself trapped within a system which does not care. A never-ending loop of the same process, running in circles.      Some say that the spiral is more of an ascension than everything else. That going around is circles, when zoomed out, shows progress. Perhaps so. However, it is hard to know when you’re caught within it. When you’re busy spinning around and around, sliding down in circles. The never-ending charade of motion sickness, surrounding you like bees. The constant buzzing of the winged-demons, who surround you waiting for the opportune moment to strike.        Capitalism exhausts me. At least, the idea of it. The practice, perhaps not. At least, not in the sense that I am fully aware of what the options are, once we abandon the current system. That the alternatives to said system are likely to result in dea...

  Thinking Hurts.      My brain no longer wishes to participate. I wish there was a way I could completely shut it off. Perhaps a switch, which would allow me a moment of peace and quiet. Even my dreams haunt me, with lovers from a past life. Everything is painful. My strength is faltering to the point where I question if I can continue to take this anymore.      Creation is my only way out. That much, I have deduced. The ability to build and create something which can properly express my pain is all that I have left at this point. There seems to be no other option left for me. I must create. I must sit down, and allow the darkness to consume me. I must be willing to go under the water, and allow it to break my breath. The very magic which I am afraid of, must now be used against me. I no longer have a choice.      Deep down, my soul grows tired. Living the same day, over and over again. The same nightmare, never ending. Although I admit...

  This Is My Last Resort.      Life is difficult. Things have been more challenging now than ever before. I don’t know if it’s the same feeling for everybody, or if I’m all alone in this journey.      Things have not been the same for some time now. The highs and lows have become absolute mountains and valleys. The tallest peaks, followed by the lowest dives. Things have become completely unstable, and I no longer know where to turn.      The battle for my soul continues to rage on, as I feel myself slowly slipping. Slowly, being torn apart from the inside, leaving me with nowhere to hide. The ground from which I find myself living under is slowly shrinking away, to the point where I no longer have anywhere to turn. I do not know how much longer I can continue down this path, without help from something or someone. The challenges I currently find myself in are all-consuming, leading me towards the end of my road.      ...

  What a week it’s been.      Monday funday, finally back to the grind of never-ending. The same actions, repeated over and over again, all because the calendar says so. What a world, what a life. Nothing changes but the date.      These past two years have been the most difficult years of my life, by far. Nothing has even come close to the challenges I have faced. From living in my car, to living in strangers houses, to back in the land of prison- it’s been a journey. I wish I could say I’ve enjoyed it. I wish I could say that life is great and I am grateful. But I’m not. I don’t have the strength nor energy to lie about it anymore. Everything fucking sucks.        I know thats pretty depressing, and nobody likes to hear somebody else dwell on their negative. But I’m at my wits end. I’ve reached the fork in the road, where I no longer can continue. I’ve continued to pray to God for the strength to continue, but I think I’ve reached...