There Will Be Blood 🩸

 What a week it’s been.

    Monday funday, finally back to the grind of never-ending. The same actions, repeated over and over again, all because the calendar says so. What a world, what a life. Nothing changes but the date.

    These past two years have been the most difficult years of my life, by far. Nothing has even come close to the challenges I have faced. From living in my car, to living in strangers houses, to back in the land of prison- it’s been a journey. I wish I could say I’ve enjoyed it. I wish I could say that life is great and I am grateful. But I’m not. I don’t have the strength nor energy to lie about it anymore. Everything fucking sucks. 

    I know thats pretty depressing, and nobody likes to hear somebody else dwell on their negative. But I’m at my wits end. I’ve reached the fork in the road, where I no longer can continue. I’ve continued to pray to God for the strength to continue, but I think I’ve reached the end. I cannot continue any longer down this path of torture, where I have been shunned and abandoned for dead.

    I think back on my life often enough, wondering where it all went wrong. Honestly, there were a couple moments that I wish I had done differently, which would have produced better results. At least, thats what I like to think. Who knows- perhaps I would have ended back up in this exact same situation, over and over again. Perhaps this is simply my destiny, to hit rock bottom and drown under the weight of the world hanging over me.

    I honestly do not understand how I move forward from here. I cannot see a road, a path, in which I can travel to safety. I have become enslaved to the very chains which i fought so hard to break. I have become nothing more than a hollow shell. Mortal wounds have pierced my soul, leaving me for dead. The knowledge I had thirst for, for so many years, has finally revealed itself to me- and it has weighted me down. It has caused me to fall under immense pressure and destruction from the power it truly holds. How am I meant to make a difference, when reality is stranger than fiction? How am I meant to stand up and fight, when the very individuals I wish to fight for resist their own liberation? I have entered a paradox- one I cannot seem to escape.

    I suppose I have no one to blame but myself, always digging deeper. Perhaps staying ignorant and blissful was the best option available. Regardless, here I am. I must face the music, and accept that I have reached the bottom from which no man can escape. 

    Many men have come back from defeat. In fact, some of the greatest stories are those of a hero making a grand comeback. However, this does not feel like a hero’s quest. This seems much darker in mu opinion. Perhaps that’s because it is. Perhaps, I am not meant to become a hero- perhaps I am the villain in this saga. At this point, I’d take either arch. I’ve become so isolated from society, that I do not know if I will ever fit back in again. 

    Honestly, that last part could be worse. I have no desire to fit in with the degenerates. The individuals, who sell their souls for fleshly pleasure. The ones, who sacrifice their morals and beliefs, in exchange for temporary comforts and excitement. The constant running around, chasing highs and never being satisfied. Running circles, over and over, until you finally reach the end. Chasing a piece of paper, doing as you’re told, until you fall face first into your grave six-feet-deep. What a life to live.

    We’ve reached the final stages of our society. Anybody with a pulse can feel it. Things are so out of whack right now, that even those who are not awaken can feel that something doesn’t add up. The non-stop propaganda and lies have reached a new all-time-high. Honestly, I am tired of it. Tired of fighting, tired of having to play pretend. I long to only make a stand and do what is right for my people, my country and my world. The evil’s which have taken over our nations must be expelled at all cost. We as the human race can no longer continue down this treacherous path which lays before us.

    War is here. The days are numbered. It is only a matter of time before the general population finally awakes from its sleep. The reality is looming, as the clouds grow darker and darker. We are under attack from forces extreme. The culprits sit in their ivory towers, casting spells and deception upon us all. They will not succeed. Faith in God will destroy them, as their tower of lies come crumbling down from within. And once the dust has settled- once the people finally see thru the mirage- there will be blood to pay.

    Sometimes I wonder if these texts will one day be read. One day, longer from now, after the war has been fought and won. One day, when I am dead and far gone from this planet. When I have returned to the stars and cosmos from which I came from, and no longer carry the weight of knowledge upon my head. When that day comes, I will finally know what it feels like to rest. 

        Glory Be,

                    Amen.