Forward ⏩

Alone.

    Once again, the days grow long. Normally, I do not dread the darkness. Yet today, of all days, I long for human connection. I long for the soft, gentile touch of a woman’s skin, pressed up against my own. The opportunity to share a moment, with another human being, something that I have not done in forever. I almost forget what it is like, to have somebody to lean on.

    Being independent is a great skill to master. Learning how to fully completely function on one’s own, something very few in the history of humanity have truly mastered. And yet, every now and then, the waves of loneliness come crashing down upon you. Perhaps loneliness is not the right word. Perhaps, simple companionship, would be the more appropriate term. 

    Isolation is a very difficult thing for the human mind to truly achieve. The act of being separated from all that makes us human, in order to reconnect with our inner-self. The very practice is a dangerous ideology, leading one down a road of certain destruction. And yet, we all know that destruction leads to new creations. That new beginnings must come from some form of ending. The constant ebs and flow of the Universe, working in waves like no other. 

Man cannot achieve the Garden of Eden,

Without first putting up with the rains.

    The rains have been falling heavily, my friend. The darkness had continued to push one’s mind into the great abyss. And yet, much like growing muscles- pain is a necessary thing. The very need to pull apart, in order to grow, is a process that cannot be ignored. It cannot be skipped. The suffering of consciousness must be experienced, in order for one to truly awaken the human being inside.

    We are funny creatures, us humans. Longing for interaction. Longing for love. And yet, once we finally achieve it- we never find it to be enough. The constant dream of something greater, gnawing at our brim. The thought that the grass must always be greener, no matter what side of the fence we live on. The constant chasing of pleasure, no matter how much we fill our cup. Sometimes, I wonder if we as a species are truly doomed to live a life of eternal damnation, constantly chasing something more.

    Satisfaction is not a mindset we are taught to know. Always striving for something greater, leading us down a path of no return. And for what? To sit here and say that the benefits of wanting more are nonexistent, would be a complete and total lie. From wanting a bigger family, to wanting more time to spend. Wanting a bigger house, a greater country. Always wanting, more, more, more. This very force, this very factor, has lead us as a species to conquer the world. We set our sights on new lands, new ideas. We placed our stake in homes once thought to be impossible to breach. We’ve travelled to areas not even dreamt of. And we have achieved more than ever thought possible before. And yet, no matter the accomplishments- it’s truly never enough.

What is the ultimate end-goal of humanity?

What is the final barrier we must conquer in order to truly be free? Will morality continue to follow us, in every which step that we take? Will consciousness continue to torment those who have been gifted with it from God Himself? Or is our purpose to finally break free from the chains, which have been holding us. To release the shackles which have held us in our place, for far too long. These are the questions that haunt me, as my soul continues to wrestle with God.

    Perhaps this life is meant to be a test, to see what we make of it. Perhaps, a giant experiment, to see what results can we as humans achieve. And yet, I cannot help but feel live we’ve lost the plot. If our goal as humans is to simply advance at a rate never seen before, then what is holding us back from achieving exactly that? Why do we wrestle with the notion of leaving no man behind? And if the goal is not to simply advance, then what should our sights be aimed at? Where should our bow be pointed towards? The complexity of the entire situation, is something I do not have an answer for.

    If we as humans are given the power to outlive death, should we obtain it? Should we allow our species to become some form of small gods? Perhaps the Greeks themselves knew the truth of the matter, worshiping those who had come before them. Perhaps the Olympians who populated Mount Olympus, were simply the humans who have strived so far forward, that they left humanity behind to suffer. And then again, perhaps all civilizations complete the same exercise, over and over again.

If life is a race- Where is the finish line?

Are we meant to simply strive for constantly achieving more? Or is there a hidden message, which we are simply to blind to see? Greed and Power are heavy motives- motives, which seem to drive our species forward.

Godspeed.