A Warrior's Ballad 🎵

 The Eve of Battle.

    Silence. All I can hear is silence. Along the cold, empty fields which lay ahead. Not a single sound upon the horizon, to break the veil of stillness which consumes the world.

    I look forward to battle. I keep my mind calm, knowing that things will soon be in motion. I appreciate the little things, as I know that my life is about to take a change forever. I keep my mind as clear as I can, understanding the task which is currently at hand. I close my eyes, and allow the world to consume me. I allow myself to fully-completely embrace the wholeness of it all, as it enters through my nose and exits from my mouth. I understand that in this moment, I am.

    Sometimes, I feel the weight of it all. The waves crashing from above me, keeping me pinned down to the ocean floor. The overwhelming feeling, of the void of darkness, starring at me as it patiently waits to claim my soul. I’ve peaked into the darkness, and I don’t care for what waits beyond. I’ve seen enough to know that the emptiness of forever is nothing more than that- emptiness. I’ve chosen to surrender the pursuit of its secrets, and focus on more. To focus on creating change and progress, here in reality. To dedicate my life towards building something in which my children, and their children, can enjoy. Something which will last much longer than myself, or even my name around it. A legacy, to help ensure that those who come after me are free to pursuit a life of happiness and enjoyment as they see fit.

    Perhaps I could have done things differently. Perhaps, I could have moved with more urgency. In fact, I would almost absolutely guarantee it. So much time, wasted, pursuing useless material and status. A complex game, where the only winning move is not to play at all. Perhaps if I were to redo it, all over again- this time, I would focus more. Focus on the things which lay in front of me. Focus on just how fortunate I am. To focus on the very gifts which have been granted to me, for absolutely no reason what-so-ever, instead of the pursuit of meaningless. Oh, to be so young and foolish, once upon a time ago.

    As battle looms, I do my best to remain grateful in all which I have seen in this world. I smile, knowing that I was fortunate to have made it here, this far. To have known so many fellow classmates, workers, family and friends who have fallen- makes me realize just how lucky I am. Lucky to wake up, and to make it to this chapter. Lucky to be able to sit and realize what it is I am getting to play within. A complex, twisted, dark and never-ending conflict, between all that is vs. all that can be. How fortunate am I, nothing more than a man, who has been granted the gift of eternity.

    For the longest time, I believed I wanted to be God. To be all-powerful, all-knowing and all-benevolent. To control everything at the tip of my fingers, bending reality as I see fit. Now, at the old age that I am- I no longer wish to pursuit such trivial means. I no longer wish to be the Alpha and the Omega, the first and the last. I no longer dream of being the only being. Perhaps it is with wisdom, that I have finally come to accept my place amongst men. 

    What joy can be found, in knowing everything? What pleasure can be had, when having accomplished it all already? What challenge can you face, when you’ve already overcome them all? How long must one live, before their realize that their life is only valuable in the face of death? I know that I’ve made it. I know that I now see the light which lies ahead. Yet here I am, on the eve of battle, reminiscing about a past where I could only dream.

    Do not pity those who a life like mine. Do not shed tears for those who make it to their grave before their time. Do not feel sorrow, for those who simply cannot escape their inevitable fates. Feel pain, however, for those who survive. Feel sadness, for those who continue until their night is nigh. For those, who must sit and endure all of the madness, based upon their own decisions, are the souls which are truly damned. 

    To live a life, where one must crawl to the finish, is no life I wish to live. To be a man, strung up in his chair, starring off into the sunset, is not who I wish to be. To survive a lifetime, surrounded by memories of those who have fallen, is not the goal for me. Those who make it to their elder years, do not find much joy in their survival. Those who continue to struggle, late into the night, do not find what it is they truly seek.

    As a young child, death seemed like the ultimate surrender. The end of everyone and everything. Throughout of lives, we are taught to fear it. Taught to no longer calculate it into our dreams. To ignore the inevitable, and surround to the fear in which it brings. Yet here I stand, as an old man, no longer frightened. Here I stand, awake and aware. For living a life of a warrior, killed on the battlefield, is worth 100 lives as living as a coward, begging on his knees. 

    Be grateful, for all which you have commanded. Be thankful, for all which you have been shown. And more importantly, be humbled, to realize that even you could not conquer it all. 

For it is not our lives which last through the sands of time-

but our actions, which continue to ring forward evermore.

        Glory Be,

                    Amen.