Dream of Californication 🌴

 Dream of Californication.

    Space may be the final frontier, but it’s made in a Hollywood basement. Sometimes life isn’t about understanding why we act a certain way. Sometimes, life is simply about acting. Just doing as we see fit, and moving forward with it. Not spending too much time, overthinking it and trying to calculate our every step. Perhaps there is more to being vulnerable than simply sitting around trying to plan it all out. The old saying goes- man makes plans, and God laughs.

    Something about the West Coast calls my name, over and over again. I don’t know what it is. The magic over there is something that I just can’t seem to shake from my mind. Which is insane, seeing as I already did my tour. I’ve spent my time over there. And yet, after all this time- I still long to return to it. I still long for the beaches and the Ocean. I long for the weather and the people. Not necessarily the individuals themselves, but simply the happy spirit of the entire coast. It’s extremely difficult to be unhappy when surrounded by those who love the Ocean water and sun as much as you do.

    Constant sun does wonders to a man. At first, it is an adjustment. The heat is something which slowly cooks you away. However, after all my time here on the planet, why not allow it to cook? Why not sit in the sun, and soak up the very gift which God has granted us? Why not spend your days, covered in sand, lying on the beach, watching the waves come and go? Why not be apart of nature and the world which was created for man? I’d take the beach and nature every single day, for the rest of my life, over an office cubicle. 

    We have been trapped and tamed, here on Earth. We are the modern day slaves. Working non-stop in offices and living indoors, while the very world which was created for us continues to spin on outside. We are told that it is a gift to have a day off and to enjoy the sun. We are lied to and told that being indoors is the price we must pay in order to have two days off a week, so that we may enjoy the weather. We are trapped by figures and numbers within computers, trying to slowly drown us to death.

    Perhaps that is what I missed the most, about my time in California. Waking up every single day, and heading to the beach. Spending every single moment, outdoors and at the water front. Sitting there, absorbing the sun and making memories. As much as it pains me to admit it, I have some of my fondest memories out there. The reason it pains me is because I created them with the wrong people, instead of the right ones. In hindsight, I regret nothing. The opportunity to expand my horizons and live a dream is one I do not take for granted. I would commit atrocities in order to do it all over again.

    One day, I will understand why God made me wait. Why he has stalled me, and left me here to struggle instead. In the moment, it is easy to get discouraged and curse out towards the oblivion. It is easy to speak ill and not understand what is truly going on. However, in the end, I have to believe that things work out exactly as planned. Perhaps not by our plan, but by our maker. The plan for which we were born, here on Earth, in order to execute. The ability to walk the path, not knowing where it will take us- yet the faith and courage to walk it all the same. 

    The future is never certain. Everything is constantly changing, constantly evolving. There is no such thing as stagnation. You are either moving forward, improving, or you are dying. Regression is a very real phenomenon which affects all that it touches. The key is to keep things in motion, no matter how difficult things get. I do not know what the future holds. Between the geo-politics and simple world chaos, I cannot say how things will change, or how they will stay the same. The reality is, I don’t care. I simply no longer wish to spend my time and energy worrying about some uncontrollable fate which is bound to appear, with or without my cooperation. 

    Sometimes, I wish I could control it all. I wish to be large enough, strong enough, powerful enough, to have everything under my thumb. I wish to absorb all that is in play, so that I may be the individual who pulls the strings. The one who directs the channels of life, and sends the streams in the direct I deem fit. The more I expand on that idea, the more I find myself trying to play God. Trying to become a monster, who is in control of the entire world and its surroundings. Sometimes, I wish I could be too. And then other times, it dawns me- what a lonely, lonely way to live.

    I dream of Californication. Every single day. I wake up, and I imagine the beaches again. I dream of the water and the waves. I dream of the boardwalks and the sunsets. The golden skies with red crimson streaks dashing across the blue surface. I still picture some of the most beautiful scenery I’ve ever witnessed. I find myself longing for the West Coast, over and over again. Perhaps it is in its absence, that I find my true love for the entire scene. 

One day, I will return to California. One day, I will call it home.

Until then, all I can do is dream.

        Glory Be,

                    Amen.