Knowledge is Power 🔋

 More Dreams.

    More nightmares. At this point, I can’t even tell the difference. All i know is, when I wake up, I feel worse. Worse than I felt when I was sleeping. Every single fucking day, trapped inside the same nightmare. My life is a prison- one I just can’t seem to escape.

    I’m dragging my feet again. Struggling, to find the power and strength to continue forward. The battle between the darkness is slowly consuming me, pulling me under with it. I do not know what to do anymore. I’ve tried everything within my power, pushing myself as far as I humanly can. And nothing. The never-ending fight continues, raging deep, deep within.

    Sometimes, I get caught up in the endless mundane of life. It feels like the wheel just keeps on turning, over and over again. Moving fast, heading nowhere. The purpose of our existence just doesn’t seem to make any sense. Am I meant to chop wood and carry water for the rest of my life? Probably. What is the purpose of that exercise though? The goal? Is there one? Or is there simply the purpose of control, of slavery- where we work every single day for the rest of our lives, until we die? Honestly, I feel like I’ve already answered these questions before, in my mind. Old ideas and demons I have defeated long ago, resurfacing once again.

    We are slaves. There is no other way to put it. Regardless of your definition or understanding- we are trapped. Trapped in these bodies, trapped in this life. Think about it- if we are truly made from stars, and our consciousness comes from God above- then what are we doing down here? What is our purpose, our goal? The obvious answer which we are told is that we are spiritual beings, having a human experience. But why? Why put us through this pain and torture? Why continue to move through the pain and suffering, with nowhere else to go?

    Again, old ideas. Old thoughts and demons I thought I had conquered. Yet here they are, yet again.

What are we meant to do? What is our purpose? What is mine?

Part of me believes that we are here to suffer. Part of me, believes that God is punishing us- he has banished us from Heaven, to suffer here on Earth. Which is the most probable answer, honestly. Pain, death, blood, sweat, tears. Everything, everywhere, all at once. If there is a Heaven, why can’t we all live harmoniously within it? Why can’t we spend forever with loved ones, without the blood and pain? None of it makes sense, when you think about it. None of it truly explains the reason for our suffering.

    So perhaps this life is a test? That could make sense. You see, most people claim they are faithful. They claim to be loyal servants and followers, who would do anything for their ideas and faith. Yet how many actually walk within the light, as they say they do? How many actually follow the path for which they describe? I bet the answer is slim. I bet, that most people are just talk. There’s a great difference between talking it, and actually walking it. Action triumphs words, any day of the week. 

    I still don’t think that explains it. I still think there’s more to the story than what we’re being told. If you wish to test somebody’s faith and loyalty, why would you banish them to a test where the average individual lives to be 80 years old? Why not run a test where the results can come in much quicker? If God is all powerful, surely he could form some way to speed up the process? Then again, that would be assuming that God operates within our parameters. Which I would guarantee that he doesn’t. So does that mean God is cruel? Does that mean he is a dictator who enjoys watching his people suffer? Truthfully, I don’t have the answer. I don’t have all the information to formulate an educated opinion on the matter.

    Scientology has a very interesting take on the whole matter. To be frank, I have not done nearly enough research on Scientology to claim to be an expert. Hell, I wouldn’t even claim to be a novice either. What I do know, is that they believe we are all spirits which have been captured, and imprisoned here in our human shells. Which makes a lot of sense. In fact, that’s pretty much what horoscopes and astrology is. The belief that our spirits, our souls, come from far away galaxies and planets, which have been transported and captured here on Earth. The idea that we stem from far across the cosmos, in whatever shape that may be, and have been banished here to serve. To serve, to suffer. All which makes a ton of sense.

    Overall, we have been lied to. The deception runs deep. That, I have no question about. That, I know for a fact. So much history and knowledge has been lost or oppressed from the general public. As much as I’ve been able to study and learn- there is so much more left to know. The never-ending pursuit of knowledge and power, is all-consuming. The never-ending battle between light and darkness, fighting for the truth. It’s out there, somewhere. Somebody, somewhere, knows more than we are being told. Which is what I desire, more than anything. The desire to finally know the truth.

    We are operating in the dark, here on Earth. We, the people, are left to the devices of our own creation. These devices, now control us. They feed us the messages and manipulation which have been created from above. The social ladder, the social pyramid, is working exactly as planned. I wish to climb it, to finally break free and find the truth. The magic which surrounds us, hidden in plain sight. You have eyes, yet you cannot see. The very essence, very existence, of our purpose, hidden. Somebody, somewhere, knows what’s truly going on.

I wish for that somebody to be me.

        Glory Be,

                    Amen.